What Our Ancestors Did in the Name of Beauty
As a college student juggling assignments, social activities, and just trying to get a full night’s sleep, I’ve found that a solid skincare routine is one of the few things that helps me feel put together. But let’s be real: modern skincare can already feel overwhelming. Every other day, it seems like there’s a new serum, mask, or beauty hack making waves on TikTok. But if you think today’s skincare trends are a bit much, wait until you hear what people used to do in the name of beauty. History is full of bizarre skincare rituals that would make even the most adventurous beauty influencer cringe.
Let’s take a trip back in time and explore some of the strangest skincare theories of the past. From bird poop facials to toxic lead powders, these ancient beauty rituals will make you grateful for your current routine—no matter how many steps it has.
The Ancient Romans and Their Snail Slime Obsession
Nowadays, snail mucin is a beloved skincare ingredient in Korean beauty products. But did you know that the ancient Romans were slathering on snail slime long before it became a K-beauty staple? Roman women believed that crushed snails, when applied to the face, could heal sunburns and smooth out wrinkles. According to ancient texts, they would literally crush snails and mix the goo with sour milk to create a beauty paste.
While the idea of putting snail slime on your face might sound unappealing, it turns out the Romans were onto something. Snail mucin is rich in glycolic acid and proteins, which can help with cell regeneration. So, while their methods were a bit messy (and honestly, gross), the Romans may have been ahead of their time with this one.
Elizabethan Lead-Based Face Powder
If you’ve ever stressed about finding the perfect foundation shade, consider yourself lucky you weren’t living in the Elizabethan era. Back in the 16th century, pale skin was a symbol of beauty and high status. To achieve this look, women would dust their faces with lead-based powders. Yes, lead—the same stuff we now know is highly toxic.
Elizabeth I of England was known for her ghostly white complexion, which she achieved using a concoction called Venetian ceruse. Made from white lead and vinegar, this mixture provided the perfect matte finish but came with a few minor side effects, like hair loss, muscle paralysis, and, you know, eventual death from lead poisoning. Women would often apply layer upon layer of this deadly powder to hide blemishes, not realizing it was causing their skin to break out even more.
So the next time you’re frustrated with your drugstore foundation oxidizing, just remember: at least it won’t slowly poison you.
The Victorian Era’s Arsenic Complexion Wafers
Victorians were nothing if not inventive when it came to skincare. To achieve that delicate, almost translucent complexion, women in the 19th century turned to an even more dangerous substance than lead: arsenic. Yes, the same substance used to kill enemies in murder mysteries was once an ingredient in “complexion wafers” that women ingested to lighten their skin.
These wafers were marketed as a miracle beauty product that would give you that desirable pale, ethereal look. In reality, arsenic poisoning led to thinning hair, stomach pain, and ultimately, death. But hey, at least their skin was glowing, right? It just goes to show that the quest for beauty sometimes came with truly terrifying risks.
Ancient Egyptian Crocodile Dung Masks
The Egyptians are often credited with being the pioneers of beauty and skincare, using everything from milk baths to kohl eyeliner. But not all of their methods were as luxurious as Cleopatra’s famous milk and honey soak. One of the lesser-known beauty hacks? Face masks made of crocodile dung.
Yes, you read that right. Crocodile dung was believed to have anti-aging properties, and Egyptian women would mix it with clay to create a face mask that supposedly kept their skin youthful and firm. While there’s no scientific evidence to support the benefits of crocodile poop, it’s a testament to how far people would go in the pursuit of flawless skin.
Medieval Bloodletting for a Rosy Glow
Forget blush and highlighter—Medieval Europeans had a much more intense way of achieving that rosy glow. Bloodletting, the process of intentionally drawing blood from the body, was thought to improve circulation and thus brighten the complexion. It was also believed to purge the body of toxins, which was thought to enhance overall health, including the appearance of the skin.
Women would sometimes visit "barber-surgeons" to have leeches applied to their faces to draw out blood. While this might sound horrifying (and it was), there was actually a tiny bit of truth to the idea. Increased blood flow does indeed make the skin look more vibrant. But let’s just be grateful that today’s facials don’t involve any bloodletting tools.
Bird Poop Facials: The Geisha Beauty Secret
Let’s end on a slightly less horrifying note: bird poop facials. Yes, this is a real thing, and it’s not just a relic of the past. This skincare practice originated in Japan, where geishas would use a paste made from nightingale droppings to cleanse and brighten their skin. The droppings contain an enzyme called guanine, which supposedly exfoliates and lightens the skin.
Believe it or not, bird poop facials have made a bit of a comeback in recent years, with high-end spas offering the treatment for those willing to shell out serious cash. While it’s not something I’d personally rush to try, I have to admit it’s a step up from crocodile dung and arsenic wafers.
The Takeaway: Beauty Through the Ages
If there’s one thing history teaches us, it’s that people have been willing to do some truly bizarre things in the name of beauty. From smearing snail slime to ingesting poison, the pursuit of flawless skin has led to some questionable choices. Thankfully, we’ve come a long way since the days of lead powders and bloodletting.
These days, we’re more likely to reach for a gentle exfoliating toner or a hydrating serum rather than, say, rubbing crocodile dung on our faces. So, the next time you feel overwhelmed by the latest skincare trend or grumble about the price of your favorite moisturizer, just remember: at least you’re not ingesting arsenic wafers or applying leeches for that dewy glow.
Here’s to modern skincare—and to not dying for flawless skin!